all papers give such info as spice and to promote sale of their paper but no one has demanded what I am doing today........Alok

 

Firstly it is a very big moral responsibility to share all vital facts before fixing a marriage with opposite party.

Secondly when we obtain fitness certificate before emplyuing a person why we dont do that before fixing a marriage?

thirdly when we want title clear certificate before buying a property then why we dont seek title clear before fixing a marriage and then aftre marriage all kinds of relations come to light.

 

Society and govt should form set of rules asking compulsorily to disclose in writing vital info from both side before marriage.Any info undisclosed and found later which affects severally marriage and families then the person and family hiding such info shud be severally punished.

 

Alok Tholiya....

 

 

 

Printed from

'Abstinence' costs hubby dear

Nitasha Natu, TNN, Jul 29, 2010, 04.11am IST

MUMBAI: A 29-year-old beautician has filed a case of harassment against her husband for non-consummation of marriage, despite having lived together for two years. She has also accused her in-laws of humiliating her over dowry. Her husband, a manager with a bank at Churchgate, was arrested by the Vakola police last week while her in-laws are wanted.

"We have slapped charges of dowry harassment on the victim's in-laws and recorded a supplementary statement against her husband for non-consummation of marriage. We will now take the opinion of a public prosecutor on it," a police official said.

Rakhi and Sanjeev (names changed) had an arranged marriage in January 2008 and stayed in a joint family. Sanjeev's elder brother is attached to the RPF.

"Even after the marriage, Sanjeev used to sleep with his parents. Initially, he told me that he was preparing for MBA and did not want to get intimate with me, as he feared losing focus over his studies. I decided to give him some time. But he kept coming up with excuses as time passed," Rakhi told TOI.

"Sanjeev claimed he was looking for a separate house for us as we had no privacy at his parents' place. Six months later, when he couldn't find a new house, Sanjeev claimed he had bigger responsibilities such as securing his sisters' future (one of his sisters was going through a divorce while another is a widow)," Rakhi added. "In November 2008, my in-laws travelled to their hometown in Rae Bareilly. But Sanjeev refused to stay alone with me and sent me away to his brother's place. My brother-in-law tried to intervene, but in vain."

In May 2010, Rakhi slit her wrists in a bid to end her life. Her family then met her husband and in-laws, but it did not work out. Rakhi eventually lodged a police complaint after she was thrown out of her husband's house earlier this month. Sanjeev, who is out on bail, denied the charges.
 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.),Marigold Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,10th Road,Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
M:9324225699
My favourite quote: Work hard to get what u like...or else....U ll b forced to like what u get!
My links and blogs : ONLY AUTHENTIC FREE MATRIMONIALS WEBSITE FOR DIGAMBAR JAINS: www.digambarjains. com/
For Issues of Sr. citizens : http://varishthanag rik.blogspot. com/
Issues of Public interests : http://aloktholiya. blogspot. com/
For harrassed litigansts : http://litigants. ning.com/
•Also subscribe to my very popular yahoo group for mails on ahead of time views: Send blank mail to: menow-subscribe@ yahoogroups. com precious collections: http://beautifulwe. blogspot. com/

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all papers give such info as spice and to promote sale of their paper but no one has demanded what I am doing today........Alok

Firstly it is a very big moral responsibility to share all vital facts before fixing a marriage with opposite party.

Secondly when we obtain fitness certificate before emplyuing a person why we dont do that before fixing a marriage?

thirdly when we want title clear certificate before buying a property then why we dont seek title clear before fixing a marriage and then aftre marriage all kinds of relations come to light.

 

Society and govt should form set of rules asking compulsorily to disclose in writing vital info from both side before marriage.Any info undisclosed and found later which affects severally marriage and families then the person and family hiding such info shud be severally punished.

 

Alok Tholiya....

 

 

 

Printed from

'Abstinence' costs hubby dear

Nitasha Natu, TNN, Jul 29, 2010, 04.11am IST

MUMBAI: A 29-year-old beautician has filed a case of harassment against her husband for non-consummation of marriage, despite having lived together for two years. She has also accused her in-laws of humiliating her over dowry. Her husband, a manager with a bank at Churchgate, was arrested by the Vakola police last week while her in-laws are wanted.

"We have slapped charges of dowry harassment on the victim's in-laws and recorded a supplementary statement against her husband for non-consummation of marriage. We will now take the opinion of a public prosecutor on it," a police official said.

Rakhi and Sanjeev (names changed) had an arranged marriage in January 2008 and stayed in a joint family. Sanjeev's elder brother is attached to the RPF.

"Even after the marriage, Sanjeev used to sleep with his parents. Initially, he told me that he was preparing for MBA and did not want to get intimate with me, as he feared losing focus over his studies. I decided to give him some time. But he kept coming up with excuses as time passed," Rakhi told TOI.

"Sanjeev claimed he was looking for a separate house for us as we had no privacy at his parents' place. Six months later, when he couldn't find a new house, Sanjeev claimed he had bigger responsibilities such as securing his sisters' future (one of his sisters was going through a divorce while another is a widow)," Rakhi added. "In November 2008, my in-laws travelled to their hometown in Rae Bareilly. But Sanjeev refused to stay alone with me and sent me away to his brother's place. My brother-in-law tried to intervene, but in vain."

In May 2010, Rakhi slit her wrists in a bid to end her life. Her family then met her husband and in-laws, but it did not work out. Rakhi eventually lodged a police complaint after she was thrown out of her husband's house earlier this month. Sanjeev, who is out on bail, denied the charges.
 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.),Marigold Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,10th Road,Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
M:9324225699
My favourite quote: Work hard to get what u like...or else....U ll b forced to like what u get!
My links and blogs : ONLY AUTHENTIC FREE MATRIMONIALS WEBSITE FOR DIGAMBAR JAINS: www.digambarjains.com/
For Issues of Sr. citizens : http://varishthanagrik.blogspot.com/
Issues of Public interests : http://aloktholiya.blogspot.com/
For harrassed litigansts : http://litigants.ning.com/
•Also subscribe to my very popular yahoo group for mails on ahead of time views: Send blank mail to: menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com precious collections: http://beautifulwe.blogspot.com/

how to eduacate marriageable age about risks and hazards of seeking divorce when stich (step)

in time cud save 3 families from deep trauma.

 

Dear All,

 

Do u know of any site gives info on brief about grounds of seeking divorce?

Under what lawswhat compansation can be asked?

Can we have educative article for youth who should be aware that if they just marry for the sake of marrying / or due to force or due to society etc and are doing some thing wrong then they should desist from doing so as there r laws against such things:

Like : If u r impotent

U r hiding certain diseases / mental condition/ giving false committment

if u r having extra marital relations

if u r already married

if u r criminal

if u r habitual in addiction etc etc ..

\

If such marraigeable age people are prewarned that breaking of marriage is very costly, may be punishable may be u may loose ur job, u will loose reputation , will have to take leave several times from office then they will take wrong steps scaringly / sparingly.

 

Recently just two days before marriage of one rakhi jain a girl called up parents of rakhi that she had long and intimate relation with their wud be son in lawbut he has no guts to say so to his parents and hence is getting married under pressure. The girls side came down to Mumbai and had a talk with parents ofboy and then both called of marriage in time ( though lot of maoney was spent but three families were saved. But many other cases after mnarriage the issues of adultery comes out and extra marital relationship continues and one day they break but there is a heavy emotional  / financial / reputaion loss to all parties. Will soemone come up with advisory on these issues ( Advocates,mental health proffessionals , womens orgs., social ministry  and newspapers can do lot in this direction.
 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.),Marigold Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,10th Road,Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
M:9324225699
My favourite quote: Work hard to get what u like...or else....U ll b forced to like what u get!
My links and blogs : ONLY AUTHENTIC FREE MATRIMONIALS WEBSITE FOR DIGAMBAR JAINS: www.digambarjains.com/
For Issues of Sr. citizens : http://varishthanagrik.blogspot.com/
Issues of Public interests : http://aloktholiya.blogspot.com/
For harrassed litigansts : http://litigants.ning.com/
•Also subscribe to my very popular yahoo group for mails on ahead of time views: Send blank mail to: menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com precious collections: http://beautifulwe.blogspot.com/

My article on sex education......must read and send ur comments.....Alok

IMP : Note with right diagonisis and treatment most sexual and relationships can be cured/ repaired/corrected. But the person should be ready and willing and cooperative. With psychologists one may have to have several sittings as they dont get path lab report for mental conditions. Have patience, faith and give cooperation.

 

Dear All,

( Parents, Teacher, Doctors, divorce specialists, elders and adults to be married and married)

Namaskar.

 

Pl. note that I am the only non medico / non mental health professional accpted as  life member in Council of sex Education and parenthood International. It is a very august body of leading sexologist,psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, Urologists,andrologists etc..Dr Prakash Kothari, Dr M C Vatsa, Dr Rupin Shah, top of the line doctors are members here.

 

I have guided and helped  many  married and about to be married purely as hon. social hobby/ responsibility.

 

Normally there r various reasons of facing difficulties in marriage specially of just married like:

1. Dowry/ dahej
2. misbehaviour of someone during marriage ( like causing insult/ hurt)
3. old relations which haunts
4. expectations not meeting etc etc

And  normally all focus is on above issues  where as there can be other  hidden undisclosed issues too like :

 

5.Relationships can be in deep waters due to sexual difficulties but for years one / both keep suffering without coming out in open. So under lining factor can be something else of rift but actual fight will take place for other reasons. Let us in brief understand the problems:

 

A: Organic / Physiological several reasons can affect a good performance ( long sickness ,addictions, long fatigue, low testosterone, high old  BP, high old diabetes, etc etc.

 

B. Psychogenic: Past, myths ( like virginity : during talk with a disturbed friend who had just married I casually mentioned / explained that on first night bleeding may not take place due to several reason like girl was sportswoman, cyclist, may have inserted finger etc etc then hymen may have ruptured accidentally and he left his all misconceptions against his wife and became happy husband) , misconceptions, fear ( of pain, getting caught etc etc), hatred, commitment to other person, sever untreated depression  etc.

 

If person has difficulty in arousal, erection or performance then one may avoid / not enjoy physical relations.And then can distance with partner on bogus grounds as he/ she can not come out with facts on such issues as there is a lot of stigma/ shyness/ fear  to discuss such issues.

 

If person has very good experience with earlier partner and not so good with new one then also he may become dissatisfied and which can be seen in his / her behaviour.

 

Ex may be longing for old partner or have  guilt or may be longing for good sex( experienced earlier as lady who is proffessional or already married or divorced  can be a better satisfying then a new shy inexperienced wife as she does not know all tantra).Unfortunately  some times it is ulta too where if a good virgin lady takes extra interest or shows some extra  knowledge then too husbands doubt her though it may be due her having some good knowledgeable friend, have read some good scientific books on tantra/ kam , attended some seminar ( I attended first such educative seminar some where around in 1976 ( I was bachlor and 21 yrs) organised by my very bold and dynamic college  princial Dr Kohli (N M college) where Dr Prakash Kothari demolised all myths and misconception in the minds of students and lecurers of college, and Bhaidas hall was over full) ( even after 30 yrs do u hear of such seminars for youth???). Education ministry, parents, teachers wake up. 

 

A newly wed lady being new  may be in pain and has to use cream/ zylocaine besides husband has to love , respect, give comfort, give confidence ( for future security) so she becomes relexed/ wet. But idiot husband may think she is avoiding. Etc etc .ande may further drift. If u keep her under shaken confidence then how can she be aroused and parnering? So I feel doctors, elder women in house must  question about physical relationship  and guide new couple and better take some help from qualified proffessionals. Two best organisation which I know of in Mumbai r Council of Sex education and parenthood Int. and FPI ( Family Planning Association of India), KEM hospital  whose memebrs are competeant to do proper counseling/ treatment. However two important caution here :

1. A lady should never allow profeessional to examine beyond a reasonable stage without the presence of a spouse/ another matured lady.

2. You must cross check all info on net / books at FPI , ask lot of questions etc..and understand where u r being led.

Proffessiionals / close senior relatives must further ask:  how long they had physical relations. How was their experience and satisfaction. How much they long for each other to be close, fiddling, foreplay etc etc. For man there is always fear of erection, its size ( which most often does not matter) premature ejaculation ( for both reasons psycho or physical disabilities), impotancy, etc etc. For both or one there may be reservation about conceiving ( now a days biggest hurdle is they r carrier minded , want to earn more for bigger better houes, we have spolilt the psyche of women by saying they need not be  maid after good education/ career). 

 

If there is a lack of satisfaction due to any of above reasons and they ( due to nature of our society) are likely to not likely to discuss this/ understand this. And one who can not understand can never seek help and finally will keep drifting from each other and or keep suffering silently life time. Many a times cause of discord is physical relationship  issues but are most often not unattended till it is toooooooolate.

 

I have several factual incidents to tell but one short story may be good enough:

 

A lady neighbour of mine confided something in wife and my wife took his 10 year old son to a leading surgeon of leading hospital.They cameback without and treatment and help but good assurance. When I asked my wife why they had taken Ralph ( false name) to surgeon she avoided to reply.As time passed this boy became major but did not grow any facial hair, had chest bulging out , personality was not totally boyish but I cud not say anything to his parents ( this is nature of our society).He avoided to on picnic with other boys etc .

 

By the grace of god his mother again took help of my wife for getting an appointment with this leading surgeon.When they were to leave for him that time I was told they r going to him.I cud not be that reluctant this time and asked my wife insistingly what is wrong with Ralph? She was again reluctant but on my insistance she said his mother says his private oragn is not growing.He is very shy. He does not go to male loo when others r thgere.

 

I told her u dont have to go to general surgeon but have to go to a Urologist. Then I contacted Dr Rupin Shah. Dr rupin called me in the cabin after examining this boy and showed that his one testicle has not descended ( hence can not be even seen, felt means is not doing its job of producing testesterone very vital for manhood development) and hence  he has girlish voice, no beard, enlarged breast, and no development of penis . he showed me his micro penis.

Then immediatley a surgery was planned and his testicles were put in right place. Then he was given shots of testesterone. Now Ralph is much OK. But Can he marry ?? Big question but his parents never asked me to accompany them to Dr Rupin. Dr Rupin though very nice person and knows me but as it is his proffessional ethics to not to disclose clients info in their absence has not told me nither I wud ask.

 

Parennts of Ralph have prohibited me to share this info as he shud not face difficulties in getting married.

 

By the way the earlier surgeon had assured parents of ralph that he is a child and evrything is alright and he will be OK once grows up. But Dr Rupin Shah said that this case should have been brought years back so lot cud be done at right time and saved the child from psychological trauma of years.

So if leading surgons have ignorance about sexology then u can imagine the condition of lay person and just married.

 

Wake wake wake up all. Save marriages. Save families. Have sex education.

sex education is not all about increasing demands. increasing adultery , increasing dishonesty rather it for setting right the person suffering from such difficulties as explained above and increasing pleasure, increasing honesty and developing healthy society.

 

I m sending this mail to 50K . Pl. fwd this to all ur contacts if u like it.

 

( sorry no time to chk spellings, grammer, or rephrasing). Rushing for my appointment to LIC office.

 

 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.),Marigold Hall,
Tholiya Bhavan,10th Road,Santacruz East,
Mumbai 400055
M:9324225699
My favourite quote: Work hard to get what u like...or else....U ll b forced to like what u get!
My links and blogs : ONLY AUTHENTIC FREE MATRIMONIALS WEBSITE FOR DIGAMBAR JAINS: www.digambarjains.com/
For Issues of Sr. citizens : http://varishthanagrik.blogspot.com/
Issues of Public interests : http://aloktholiya.blogspot.com/
For harrassed litigansts : http://litigants.ning.com/
•Also subscribe to my very popular yahoo group for mails on ahead of time views: Send blank mail to: menow-subscribe@yahoogroups.com precious collections: http://beautifulwe.blogspot.com/

Check out my photos on Shtyle.fm

Hi atholiya.vnss@blogger.com!

Check out my photos on Shtyle.fm I've created a profile on Shtyle.fm to upload my photos, share files and make new friends and I want to add you as a friend. View my Profile and Photos » Regards, ALOK THOLIYA

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Wonderful message. Thanks.
 

Thanks and Regards,
Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.),Marigold Hall,

---

From: S N Srivastava <utkarsh1@airtelmail.in>
To: Satish Wanchoo <satish.wanchoo@gmail.com>; Madhurendra K Varma <madhurendra.varma@gmail.com>; Alok Tholiya <tholiya@yahoo.com>; PL Tarneja <pltarneja@gmail.com>
Sent: Fri, 2 July, 2010 6:35:21 PM
Subject: I'm Fine Thank You - 020908You may like it. (S N Srivastava)

 I'm Fine, Thank You                            

There is nothing the matter with me,  

          I am as healthy as I can be,

I have arthritis in both my knees,

          And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze,

My pulse is weak, and blood thin,

          But I'm awfully well for the shape I am in,

 

Arch support I have for my feet,

           Or wouldn't be able to walk on the street,

Sleep is denied me night after night,

            But every morning, I find I'm alright,

My memory is failing, my head's in a spin,    

            But I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in,

 

The moral of this, as my tale I unfold,

            That for you and me, who are growing old,

It's better to say "I'm fine" with a grin,

            Than for the people know the shape we're in,

 

How do I know my youth is all spent?

             Well, my "Get up and Go" has got up and went,

But I really don't mind when I think with a grin,

             Of all the grand places my "Get Up" has been,

 

Old age is Golden, I have heard it said,

              But sometimes I wonder as I enter into bed,

With my ears in the drawer and my teeth in a cup,

               My eyes on the table until I wake up,

Ere sleep overtakes me, I say to myself,

              "Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf"?

 

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,

                And take up the paper and read the obits,

If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,

                So I have good breakfast and go back to bed.                                                                                                                                                                                                     ;                                                                                                      

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     &nb sp;                                                        

                                                                                           "UNKNOWN"