Life beyond 60

*Viewpoint expressed in The Hindu newspaper*****

****

Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 60****

years of age, owing to the diminishing importance given to them and****

their opinions. But, it need not be so, if only we understand the basic****

principles of life and follow them scrupulously. Here are ten mantras****

to age gracefully and make life after retirement pleasant.****

****

1. Never say 'I am aged' : There are three ages, chronological,****

biological, and psychological. ****

The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is
determined by the health conditions; the third is how old we feel we are.
While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health
with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and
optimistic****

thinking can reverse the third age.****

****

2. Health is wealth: If you really love your kith and kin, taking care****

of your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden****

to them. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed****

medicines regularly. Do take health insurance coverage.****

****

3. Money is important: Money is essential for meeting the basic****

necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect****

and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children.****

You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a****

harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and****

they take care of you, you are blessed. But, never take it for granted.****

****

4. Relaxation and recreation: The most relaxing and recreating forces****

are a healthy religious attitude, good sleep, music and laughter. Have****

faith in God, learn to sleep well, love good music and see the funny****

side of life.****

****

5. Time is precious: It is almost like holding a horses' reins. When****

they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that everyday****

you are born again. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a****

promissory note. Today is ready cash - use it profitably. Live this****

moment; live it fully, now, in the present time.****

****

6. Change is the only permanent thing: We should accept change - it is****

inevitable. The only way to make sense out of change is to join in the****

dance. Change has brought about many pleasant things. We should be****

happy that our children are blessed.****

****

7. Enlightened selfishness: All of us are basically selfish. Whatever****

we do, we expect something in return. We should definitely be grateful****

to those who stood by us. But, our focus should be on the internal****

satisfaction and the happiness we derive by doing good for others, without**
**

expecting anything in return. Perform a random act of kindness daily.****

****

8. Forget and forgive: Don't be bothered too much about others'****

mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we****

are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness,****

let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing****

our blood pressure.****

****

9. Everything has a purpose: Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as****

you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique****

and is right in his own way.****

****

10. Overcome the fear of death: We all know that one day we have to****

leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our****

spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the****

truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for****

some time. Time heals everything and they will go on.****

OFFER TO VAKOLA POLICE STATION

Alok Tholiya (S.E.O.)

Past President: Lions Club of Vakola, Leo dist. 323A

Vice President: Mumbai Digambar Jain Seva Samiti

Founder: Varishtha Nagrik Seva Sanstha (Estb.2003)

THOLIYA BHAVAN. GR. FLOOR,

10th ROAD, NEXT TO REGENCY HOTEL,

SANTACRUZ (EAST), MUMBAI: 400 055.

Tel. 26125699 /  M.9324225699.

tholiya@yahoo.com

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Hon. Senior Inspector of Police,

Vakola Police Station,

Santacruz East,

Mumbai 400055

Dear Sir,

Namaskar.

Pl. note that I have been very active in social field since my collage days. I have served on highest posts in Lions, Jaycees clubs etc.. I have been also very active in several other reputed organizations.

Since last 7 years I have been running a senior citizens organization known as Varishtha Nagrik Seva Sanstha. We hold two meetings every month in my own mini party hall at above address besides having several other activities like health camps, picnics etc...

About strenuous life of a policemen I don’t have to write much to you as you are fully aware of same. And I am sure you must be always wishing to do your mite for betterment of this over worked, over stressed lot. But circumstances may not be allowing you to do so.

Sir, If you and your seniors bless then I can  arrange one lecture a month for your staff at Vakola.

Details of project:

1.       It can be held at my hall or even at your place.

2.       Timing and day will be as fixed by you/ your appointed coordinator ( so it does not clash with any other pressures).

3.      Some light refreshments will be served from our organization.

4.      Speakers/ audio visual/ mike / handouts etc if needed will be arranged by us.

5.      We will ensure that each programme is only of about 1 hour so it does not affect working of your police station.

6.      No political/ controversial guests / media will be invited by us. But your office is open to decide guests from your side.

7.      All activities will be free of obligation and expenses to your police station.

8.      Topic and name of speaker / activity to be conducted will be informed to you in advance and only after ur consent we will go ahead with same.

9.      All lectures will be conducted by top qualified  professional.

Present activities proposed:

A.    Stress management

B.     Anger management

C.     Nutrition and diet

D.    Workshop on RTI

E.     Relationship enrichment

F.      B.P. and Diabetes ( lecture and free test)

G.    Madhur Rishtey ( family cordiality is foremost and how to strengthen same but also relationship with others is equally important and technique to improve same will be taught)

H.    Managing Investments smartly

I.       Any other topic suggested by you.

Hope to receive a favorable reply.

Thanking you,

Sincerely yours,

Alok Tholiya

 

planning toilets for Senior Citizens / Handicaps

Toilet Safety for Seniors

By Lee Morgan, eHow Contributor

The toilet should not be a dangerous place for a senior citizen. Toilet safety should be a concern to anyone living with or helping improve the home of an older person.

• Senior Citizens Safety
• Handicap Toilet Seat

1. Accessible Toilets

   • Accessible toilets make it safer and more convenient for seniors. Install a seat that is 3 to 5 inches higher than a standard toilet seat. The accessible seat should stand between 17 to 19 inches above the floor.

   Room to Move

   • Wheelchair-bound seniors must be able to get through the door and have an unobstructed path to the toilet. Opening up the room could also potentially prevent falling injuries. Wall-mounted sinks and vanities may provide the extra room needed.

   Wall-Mounted Grabs

   • Wall-mounted safety grabs make using the toilet safer for anyone using the facilities, according to Accessible-Bathrooms.com. One-and-a-half-inch diameter grabs should be placed horizontally behind the toilet a few inches higher than the top of the tank for stability and convenient access to the tank itself, and on the closest wall to the toilet to allow the senior to push himself up into a standing position.

   Non-Slip Flooring

   • Bathroom floors are often slippery, especially when wet. Using non-slip flooring will prevent slipping. Ceramic tiles should be installed close together without uneven grout lines to improve safety.

   Toilet Clearance

   • Public restrooms must provide necessary space for a person to safely move from a wheelchair to the toilet. The minimal size for a bathroom stall to meet standards is 4 feet feet wide by 4 feet 8 inches deep

Read more: Toilet Safety for Seniors | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_5825903_toilet-safety-seniors.html#ixzz1j1ZMY3Eu

http://www.accessible-shower-seats.com/

http://www.accessible-walkin-bathtubs.com/

http://www.accessible-shower-design.com/

Toilets for Senior citizens

Senior citizens who find it difficult to walk often find it difficult to use their bathroom toilet as well. The mechanics of sitting down on a tiny stool and lifting oneself up without any support can be difficult, especially for a senior citizen that finds it difficult to bend or has lost lower body strength. To raise the toilet seat to a comfortable height, a caregiver may wish to consider some of the following options:

Toilet seat riser

Toilet seat risers are contoured, plastic seats that sit on top of a regular toilet. Also known as "doughnuts", these portable risers bring the seat to a comfortable height.

Toilet seat risers come in a variety of heights, price points, and models ranging from $12.99 for a standard six inch high riser to $63 for a deluxe model that has a locking feature and arm rests. Simple toilet risers are available at discount department stores such as Target or Walmart. The more deluxe models are only available through medical supply stores or on-line medical retailers. This link to Nexttag.com is worth checking out for a fantastic inventory of toilet seat risers with comparative features, prices, and reviews to help guide your decision.

Toilet safety frame with raised toilet seat

Bedside commodes are portable, waterless toilets that can be used in a bedroom. Some styles of bedside commodes come with multiple features so they can be used in a bathroom as a toilet safety frame with a raised toilet seat. These multi-purpose models can be placed directly over the existing toilet, and will provide a senior with a comfortable sitting height and arm rests for support while standing up or sitting down. While this type of riser isn't as portable as a "doughnut", they are much more sturdy and easier to clean.

Bedside commodes with the safety frame features run from $100 for a basic model up to $300 for extra wide, extra heavy units. Bedside commodes can be found at all medical supply stores.

Toilet elevator

This innovative new product, called the "toilevator" is a toilet base riser that lifts the entire toilet up by 3.5 inches. It fits neatly beneath the base of an existing toilet and is a safe and hygienic way to raise a toilet to a comfortable height for a senior citizen. Best of all, there are no doughnuts or frames to remove for visiting guests. The toilevator costs $74.95 and comes with a complete do it yourself kit. The toilevator can be found at activeforever.com.

Sr citizen members of my VNSS playing Antakshari

Dr Sanjay Pande speaking to my members of VNSS

Old age related Urological problems and how to deal with them....Dr Sanjay Pande 

No one tells you this except Alok ……..

No one tells you this except Alok ……..

Delete if u r sure u will never live to be old :

Whatever is left behind unutilized after your death is the wasteful  hard work and saving done by you….read on 

* U = anyone who is about to be going old including me.

Yes I am growing old fast. Are you aging too?????  ……do we have these things in mind before we really become dependent on family?

My one lady relative in Amer was on bed for years.  Another relative was bedridden for more than 7 years. You must have seen paralyzed, affected with parkinsonism, paraplegic, affected with dementia, sight lost, legs cut due to gangrene, diabetes, brain dead, stroke, Cancer, HIV  etc etc… but no one thinks this can happen to ….

My own mother was ailing for 3 yrs. My Daddy is also not well for last 3 months. In old age/ when u are ailing / bed ridden:

1.      U* need someone who can give valuable time to ailing old U.  Do you have that someone??

2.      U need to talk/ chit chat  ( while your hearing will be  poor, you may develop  cognitive difficulties, u can’t understand what they r saying, they get irritated, angry ( and most likely u r irritated, angry, blaming, dissatisfied) , but still u need someone to give time, chit chat, listen. Do you have that someone??

3.      Ailing oldies forget sense of hygiene and they may do bed wetting, they need to use bed pot/ pan, their eyes, mouth, hands have to be washed by someone??? Do you have that someone??

4.      In old age U may need to be on diapers which will cost about Rs. 6000/- p.m. and another Rs.  6000 to 18000 pm u may be required to spend on bai /maid / helper if u don’t have someone from family to do this necessary work or you may be lying in shit and su su for hours. Are you prepared??

5.      You have to be given medicines time to time. My daddy is on about 15 tablets to be given at different times. How does one remember?? Before meals, after meals, after tea time, before sleeping, if u have acidity then this additional if you have weakness then this too, if there is a fever then that too etc etc.  Luckily now medicine scheduler plastic boxes are available in market. But to use that too u need help of someone who has time and inclination. Are you ready for all this with that someone? That someone cud be ur son, daughter,  daughter in law, grand children, neighbour , old trusted friend, old reliable staff or u should be willing to pay for hired maid which costs Rs 15000/- for a month ( Rs 250/- per shift per day x 2 shift x 30days ) .Are u prepared.

6.      Your vision may go weak. Your body may  shiver, legs may tremble , you may easily get off balance and fall so :

a)      You have to keep walking area, passages, toilets etc obstruction free for walk and have to keep them well lit.

b)     You have to keep rods / support bar etc fitted in toilets.

c)      Toilets/ passages should be motorable (popularly known as handicap access) ?? Meaning if need be then your wheel chair must be able to move easily.

d)     You must have sufficient place to store sticks/ tripods/wheel chair/ pots/ pans etc .

e)      You must have (too ambitious idea??) a nice sit out/ chowk/ common area with sun rise and sun set and other activities (home or on road) visible or u will die in suffocation in kal Kothari??  My grandfather used to sit in sit out which is about 150 sq feet on first floor facing highway. Morning sun and evening set was easily visible. The staircase approach was from that sit out. Anyone coming or going from our floor would see him and talk to him. He would have tea with other neighbors’ there. He would keep Mishri in a bottle (say sugar candy) and distribute to small children in building who would visit him when he was sitting alone in sit out. Then children’s will play around him and thus he cud pass time easily. He was a serious reader of newspaper and kept himself updated. Once my friend Manoj visited me and as I was away he had to wait for me for a long time. Dadaji (Grandfather) started chatting with him. When I came Manoj told me that at this age of 95 yrs Dadaji has all latest info and was even discussing about my career in pharma besides on other latest topics. He would sit for 2 to 3 hours in meditation and mala japana.   

Have u taken care of all this?????????? Can u meditate and spend ur few hours daily, can u befriend young, children in some attractive / impressive way? Do your well-wishers have access to you?? I find most flats are so made that even interested well wisher too cant visit u without disturbing all in family which neither visitor nor family members (I won’t dare / inappropriately blame bahu / daughter in law).So a sr. citizen is dumped ( ???) . That would be  wrong to say as when he was about to be a senior citizen at that time he  did not select right house / room, he failed to plan his old / ailing phase and thus  he can’t see many faces, does not  get opportunity to talk to various people / talk on various topics , can’t see activity of family/ neighbors’/ road.  

7.      Even if you don’t have sufficient balance/ assets but need not disclose and if u have then too sleep over it. Keep sufficient bank balances, assets etc in your name and make a will which is not disclosed. Even Osho said money is not everything but it does have its own power, strength and warmness. Without it u may be left to chill high and dry.

8.      Keep very good relations with those friends, relatives, neighbors ,staff  who have time for you , who will visit you often or wish for your well being and or do something ( by word, deed or other means) things which will improve your comfort*** , check if things (without hurting your own family members) are all right .

But normally I have seen one likes to mix with high funda , HS ( high society) , high post  persons, persons who charm you with their post ,personality and wealth  but they are too busy to spare time  once you are permanently bedridden ( lost value). So also (be it HS or LS) keep in touch with those simple but kind hearted, compassionate, human who are nice to all .why I say so?? One who is nice to all will also always be nice to you but those who are shrewd,   different with different people, different in different circumstances are opportunists/ dual personality and may change colour when u need them and they don’t need u) .

9.      In old age many have to be hospitalized frequently. My mother was hospitalized 5 times in 2 yrs.

Have u / your family/ friend/ neighbor/ staff have kept tel. nos. of ambulance etc ready?

 My father is surviving today because:

                                                        I.            My neighbor saw him in desperately gasping/ breathless position and woke us up at 2 am. (Ours is olden type of house where each room opens in common passage and there r neighbors too living in adjacent rooms).

                                                      II.            I had in my mobile all tel. nos. of ambulances. But incidentally only Tops responded and came in no time. (I don’t think even today anyone in my family has ambulance nos.  ready with them , check if u and ur family members have???)

                                                    III.            We swiftly shifted him to casualty in a good hospital whom I knew will give very good emergency care and stabilize him without first asking for money and wasting time. I salute Hindujas for this gift (facility) to my city and several times they have proved to be more than expectations.

                                                   IV.            Credit card for immediate purpose for admission and other payments and health insurance of good value are next rescuers.

Do u have such neighbors’, alarm, tel. no’s of ambulance, knowledge of good hospital (and their ethical way of charging), credit card, health insurance??????  (If this mail is waking u up abt health insurance then be loyal and thankful by buying health insurance from me if u are in India and specially in Mumbai).

10.  If u have not done / seen a particular type of work and specially something like changing clothes soaked in potty of adult person then how will u be able to do it when required??

Therefore if you keep your elders like grandparents, parents with you and attend to them nicely then chances are your children will become familiar / aware/ responsible and all hesitation will vanish when u become old and dependant. If your children have not seen you sparing time for sr. citizens, bearing their tantrums, helping in their difficulties, running for their well being then chances are they will not be able to cop up with all that when u become bedridden. In that case book a place in old aged home which guarantees good comfortable stay for life time.

11.   Teeth: Most people neglect their teeth rather spoil them purposely by chewing all that junk, paan, paan masala, tobacco, etc..Jainism strictly wants you to not to keep your mouth jhuta ( chewing / food ). As Jainism is more of science and way of living and not a religion it tells you many do and don’ts for day to day healthy life style. So if you keep your mouth full of all junk like tobacco, frequent tea etc then they are likely to be spoilt faster than your age. Finally eating normal food becomes difficult. And then you have to depend only on soft or liquid food. Person with healthy teeth can eat well and get full nourishment. I have seen many sr. citizens unable to eat many things and often normal food also has to be grounded well in mixer grinder as they can’t chew food properly. Keep your teeth healthy for your old age. And if spoilt then do not hesitate to go for dentures / implants at right time as delaying too much will make difficult to go for them. Consult Dr. Aksha Jain (dentist) the best implantologist I know. Write to me for her email id. 

12.   If you have sufficient money for secured old age then start giving attractive things in your life time to your daughter in law etc as after you it will be theirs but you are not there to get positive reaction of same. Many parents leave Jagir / saltanat/ huge wealth for heirs but do not give small bit of it in gift on occasion / exam results  to children / relatives/ staff with their own hand. Do it and see joy and change in attitude and improved relationship.

Do not want to go on and on. The mail is already very long. But pl. write back to me in few words your point of view on this mail. This has taken my many hours. Pl. spend two minutes to evaluate if u have read.